She was all I had
by theangstspecialist
Summary: The story of angst and tragedy that surrounds Ellie and Riley. Includes all of the content from the mall and my take on the impact it had on Ellie.
1. 10 o'clock

A/N= So I must say that when I played The Last of Us, I was immediately enthralled by Ellie's character. She has a really interesting role in the story, and Left Behind was even better. ElliexRiley for the win! Also I know this is really bad in the sense of past/present tense, so someone point out which bits are screwed in the review section and I'll repost this better.

Disclaimer= Do I look like a fucking billionaire to you? So do you think I own it? I thought not.

She Was All I Had:

Chapter one:

I layed on the uncomfortable, somewhat lumpy piece of shit they expected me to call a bed, staring up to the dull white ceiling above me. Two days ago, I would have given much more lively descriptions of the bed and the roof. But that was when Riley was with me. Honestly I could have been in hell and I would have still seen the bright side of things; because with Riley, everything was a blast. The 21 hours and 7 minutes it took from us being bitten to her turning was a blast. She made sure of that. But since then- since she left-everything has been dark, sad, and lonely. I'll admit- I've cried more than all the infants in this lousy, unfair, apocalyptic world. But like I care; tonight, I won't be here, in this stupid firefly hideout. I'll be with Riley again. She was all I had; it's sappy and cliché-Riley would probably laugh in my face about it-but it's true. I rolled over on the bed; my head turning over to the photo of Riley, - who stood pointing the camera back at us, a little above our heads- and me, stood behind her in a half embrace. I smiled at the picture, relishing in the happy memory. But she isn't here anymore. I got her killed. If back at the mall, I had made that jump, we would have gotten away; she would be alive. But I was too weak. I shook the memory away, for once taking into consideration that she may not blame me. Either way, I will find out soon.

I got up from the bed and walked over to my drawer, pulling it open to retrieve my Walkman. My hand brushed over Riley's 9mm, which I'd shot her with two days ago. We would die with the same gun, which coincidently had one bullet left in it-how damn cliché. I closed the drawer-something tells me they will not be pleased if they find out someone deemed unstable has a gun.

"Unstable my fucking ass," I mutter, "They just got the wrong idea. I'm not in shock; just don't wanna talk to nobody."

I turned my attention back to the Walkman and started up the mix tape Riley gave me; that seemed like forever ago now. God I missed her. But once everyone is asleep, I will see her again. If I'm not patient someone will walk in and stop me. I just have to wait until ten…


	2. Marlene

A/N= I honestly don't know why I'm posting these in different chapters but hey-I am. Sooo I don't know what anyone thinks about this other than my limited supply of friends- they just told me it was good. It's probably shit but hey! Who cares? I hope this entertains you.

Disclaimer= don't make me laugh!

She Was All I Had:

Chapter two:

For what felt like the hundredth time, I looked at the time on my Walkman. For what felt like the hundredth time, I saw it still didn't say ten. Honestly, I wanted to just get it over with, but I managed to convince myself that waiting was the best thing- I didn't want someone to walk in and talk me down. Or did I? I was just beginning to question myself when a firefly soldier knocked loudly on my door; "its ten o'clock Ellie. That's curfew. I want the lights off within the next five minutes." I listened intently after that. Sure enough, I heard the guards footsteps fading away as the distance between him and my door grew larger.

"Well," I whispered hesitantly, "let's get this over with." I walked over to the drawer at the far side of the room. In those few moments, my heart was pounding in my chest, though I couldn't figure out whether it was out of anticipation for seeing Riley again or just pure, unadulterated fear. I wanted to see Riley again, but that didn't stop the fear of unanswered questions. Would it hurt? How long would it take before I could see her again? Would she be angry at me? I am taking the easy way out… That thought stopped me dead in my tracks.

Screw it! I thought to myself angrily. She will understand. Besides, she will be happy to see me. I picked up Riley's trusty 9mm, the note I had written to Marlene previously (which pretty much consisted of "sorry. It's not your fault. I love Riley and need to see her again. Fuck you for taking our water guns- Riley got them back anyway. Bye) and my mother's knife. I placed them on the bed, and popped in the ear-phones to my Walkman-pressing play on "I got you babe". Everything I had done so far had been pathetically cliché-the note, the fact that my tool for suicide had also killed my Riley. "My Riley?" I thought out-loud, "ugh, sappy," I giggled, despite the depressing task at hand. I carefully arranged everything, and then slowly sat down next to the note and knife, 9mm in hand. I took a deep breath, lifting the heavy metal object to my head, the cold material soothing my hot, stress-pained head. I let my mind wander back to the good times; me and Riley on the carousel, the water gun fight, the dance the kiss-my god that kiss. The way her lips molded to mine, the hot sensations that ran through my body. The simple way she replied to my apology- "for what?" I would have all of that again with one pull of the trigger. So I pulled it.

_**-**__**CLICK**__**-**_

But nothing happened. My door slowly creaked open, and none other than Marlene opened the door, flicking the light switch as she entered. As my emerald green eyes adjusted to the light, I saw she was holding the last bullet. My insides suddenly grew tight with rage, and it was all I could do to stop myself from killing her on the spot.

"I know you must be angry, but hear me out," she said, obviously upset that she had to see me in this situation. It was the same voice she had used when she was holding me back from the guy who had tried to take Riley's stuff when they had found me in the mall with her corpse.

"How about I see you out," I said coldly.

"That was a good one. Riley used it on me once," she deadpanned.

"Fuck you Marlene!" I all but yelled.

"Keep your voice down Elli-" she began, but I interrupted her-no one brings up Riley when arguing with me!

"No! I'm going to let everyone hear this! This bitch took my only hope of seeing my girlfriend away from me! Fuck you Marlene!" I screamed turning my back on her when I saw her confused face. But that's when I saw it-my knife. Marlene saw it too. I lunged for it and turned to face her again; only to find the barrel of a gun. I looked at her face and saw tears, "what happened in that mall Ellie? What got you so worked up?"

I studied her face for a moment, but after finding nothing but sincerity, I relented. "Get that fucking thing out of my face and I'll tell you," I said, trying for a stone cold voice but ending up in a wavering, weak one.

"Put down the knife and I'll put down the gun," she sighed. I lowered my knife, but didn't drop it.

"Put it down Ellie, and I promise I'll put my gun down," she repeated softly.

"No," I practically growled. She studied my expression and tone with evident curiosity, before the voice of a Firefly interrupted us;

"Is everything all right ma'ams'?"

"Fuck off!" I shouted at the guard. Honestly, I think he was the nice one's, but I was so pissed I didn't care.

"We're fine thanks," Marlene sighed, "so what happened at the mall?"

"We got there, we got bit. She turned. I sh-shot her. You bastards showed up. I almost stabbed that ass-hole who tried to steal her stuff. You know the rest,"

"By the rest you mean you not eating, not drinking, and then prepping to top yourself?" she said. I simply gave her the most dangerous glare I could muster.

"So," she continued, unfazed by me look, "when in all of that did you two get all lovey dovey?" she said grinning. That just pissed me off even more. So I made a decision.

"I'll start at the beginning…"


	3. Making An Entrance

A/N=urm, I still don't know what I'm doing, but I have 65ish people who have clicked on this story, so it can't be too shit (relatively speaking). Henceforth, I will continue this train wreck of a story. FROM HERE DOWN ITS IMPORTANT PLEASE READ: This chapter will flick back and forth from Ellie in that mall to Ellie talking to Marlene. It starts with the mall.

Disclaimer= *snorts* Please!

She Was All I Had:

Chapter three:

I woke up with a start, the teeth sinking into my neck. I didn't let them sink any deeper however-I threw the infected off me and grabbed my switchblade, before spinning on my heels to face my attacker. When I faced it- or rather her- I stopped dead. Emotions span wildly as and erratically as flames in a fire; anger, happiness, betrayal, forgiveness.

Only when these emotions passed did I find my voice. "Riley?"

The dark skinned girl who I'd been crushing on since we became best friends (a year or two before) layed at my feet, grinning like the Cheshire cat from a book I once read.

"Ouch! I landed on my hip!" she exclaimed, still grinning. As pissed at her as I was, I still couldn't deny I had missed that voice. I'd missed it a lot.

"What the hell!" I said, still kind of in shock from seeing her again, "I thought I was bitten!"

"I know," she sighed, still wearing that inane grin, "It was kinda awesome,"

She seemed to study me for a second, before saying, "you're not gonna kill me are you?" I frowned in confusion, before realizing I still had my switch blade pointed at her. I moved to put it away, and decided to cut to the chase, "I haven't seen you in… I don't even know how long."

"45 days," my best friend informed me as I turned away from stashing my knife under my pillow again, "well…46 technically," she shrugged nonchalantly, as though 46 days where I thought she was dead didn't matter.

"Wanna know what I've been up to?" she asked, her brown eyes piercing my green ones.

I did nothing, except stare at her in awe. How was she so calm and collective? I was standing there, my emotions threatening to bubble to the surface, while she stood there, asking if I wanted to know what she's been up to! I didn't know what to say to her, so I decided to just make a simple, factual statement.

"All this time, I thought you were dead," I said, the situation still seeming almost surreal.

"Yea…" she sighed, as though she felt guilty, "ugh, look!" she said more happily, removing something from her neck and handing it to me. With a closer look, I saw it was a dog tag, though I knew she wasn't a soldier.

"No way," I breathed, upon realization of what it was.

"Still no roommate?" The now dubbed Firefly Girl said, completely blanking me, "I had to sleep under Liz for three years and you know how bad that girl smelled!"

"You're a Firefly." I said. It wasn't a question. The dog tag in my hands was proof of it. At first I didn't know how to react. So I settled with just accepting it without question.

"Ha," Riley muttered suddenly, "you still have it up." I looked up to see her with the picture of us I kept of the wall in her hands.

Instead of awkwardly stuttering a reply, I walked to the door and opened it, checking for soldiers.

"What are you doing?" Riley questioned, sounding annoyed about my ignoring her.

"Making sure I don't get caught with a Firefly in my room!" I exclaimed, my ability to hide my emotions running out.

"Relax," Riley whined, "there are no soldiers on this floor."

"Here," I said tersely, handing her the dog tags, "congrats."

But Riley-always being the quicker one-grabbed my hand, making me happy and awkward.

"Hey." She said looking me in the eye. I had the strong urge to kiss her, but stopped myself, worried about her reaction, "are we cool?"

Are we cool! What a fucking Riley thing to say! She tells me to fuck off, leaves me alone to presume her dead for 46 days, and then asks "are we cool?"! My god I was furious. But I loved her. So I didn't shout. I simply repeated her question with a tone of disbelief to get my feelings across.

"I disappeared and you're mad-" I cut her off with a sarcastic noise, "and I owe you an explanation. Let's get outta here and I'll tell you all about it," she said as if I hadn't interrupted.

"It's almost morning and I have military drills," I lamented, "you know, where we learn how to kill Fireflies!"

Riley just laughed, and through me a pair of jeans, "put some pants on and lets go."

I merely sighed in incredulity, and gave in; I put on the pants she gave me and followed her, all the while sighing to myself "I'm so dumb".

Riley grinned again, "come on now," she exclaimed sarcastically, "when have we ever gotten into trouble!"

_**-**_RileyxxxElliexxxRiley_**-**_

"So," I said to Marlene, "that's what happened when she came to my room. Thoughts and emotions and all," I said to her, still annoyed about admitting I was crushing on Riley since forever.

"What do you want to know now?" I asked.

"Tell me about what happened inside the mall. What happened when you got there?"


	4. Arguements

A/N= Ok, so I think that maybe it might go past 3 chapters like I had planned, seeing as thins is indeed chapter four. I love anyone who actually see's any potential for this FanFic. Bye!

Disclaimer= I own absolutely nothing, else there would be more Ellie/Riley stuff.

She Was All I Had:

Chapter four:

I slipped through the small, rather claustrophobic window and jumped to the floor. My heart was pounding nosily in my chest, and I strained my ears to pick up the sound of the military convoy outside. Sure enough, I heard the screech of tires as they drove away.

"Ah man. That was close huh?" I heard my best friend say, "You were kinda fast there. I'm impressed…"

"Thanks," I said sarcastically. Although she WAS superior, it annoyed me to know ends when she acted like it.

"Well come on," she said, flicking on a flashlight, "up we go!" with that, she ran off down the corridor.

I ran after her, deciding to make conversation. "So how did you find them?" I questioned her.

"The Fireflies?" she responded, stating the obvious.

"Yeah," I responded.

"Well," she said giggling, "you remember that Firefly you bit and stole his gun?"

I remembered that immediately. He had his gun trained on Riley, so I snuck up behind him with my knife. He heard me however, and went to hit me. I ducked, and stabbed his left arm. Furious, he grabbed my neck and put me against the wall. With Riley on the floor injured, I had to take control of the situation. So I bit him, stole his gun, and shot the bastard in the leg, immobilizing him.

"Yeah," I said, still half lost in the memory, "I remember him."

"That's Trevor. I saw him walking in the street so I tailed his ass. I follow him into this ally and all these Fireflies ambush me. They took me right to their hideout, to Marlene," she informed me.

"Were you scared?" I questioned eager for more information.

"Terrified!" she admitted without shame, "I thought this time she would actually shoot me. But instead she just says 'what took you so long'. She was expecting me!"

"And she just… made you a Firefly?" I replied, not expecting it to be so easy.

"Something like that," she said in an evasive tone, "that whole almost killing me thing was a test, she wanted to know I was committed."

_**-**_ElliexxxRileyxxxEllie_**-**_

"That reminds me. How dare you! I honestly thought you gave a shit about me Marlene! But when you made her a Firefly, you didn't think to contact me? I thought she was dead. My only friend, the person I loved, and you didn't let me know that she was even alive!" I vented. Honestly I was furious. She knew, and didn't inform me. God I was mad!

"Ellie, how was I supposed to inform you without informing the soldiers too?" she rationalized.

"Riley managed it!" I argued.

"Riley is dead!" she shot back spitefully, and then froze when she realised what she had said. "Oh god Ellie I'm so sorry!"

Too late I thought to myself. I bolted out of the room, switchblade still in hand. Sprinting past guards, weaving through the maze of corridors, until I finally reached a dead end. I span round to see Marlene in front of me, gun in hand once more.

"Well Ellie, why don't you continue from where you left off? It will help to talk about it, I promise," she tried to convince me. I relented, and started again.

_**-**_RileyxxxElliexxxRiley_**-**_

"Oh," I said simply. God when I saw Marlene again, I promised myself to vent at her. How dare she try to kill Riley, even if it was a test!

"C'mon," Riley commanded me, breaking my threatening thoughts, "we're making good time."

"Who do you hang out with these days?" Riley asked, evidently curious.

"I dunno," I replied, deciding to be honest, "no-one really."

"What about Tino and the other guys? How are they doing?" she asked, sounding almost guilty.

"Riley, those are your friends," I reminded her gently.

"But you talk to them," she stated.

"Yeah, I guess." I said, deciding to not argue with her.

There was an awkward silence for a moment, before I saw a drawing on the wall, the Firefly symbol, with 'look for the light' written underneath it.

"Have you found the light yet?" I said in a teasing tone.

"Oh har har" she replied sarcasticly.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend your people," I shot back in an equally sarcastic tone.

"So what," I continued, though now being serious, "you buy into this whole thing now?"

"All I know is that I'm not a soldier," she stated simply.

_**-**_ElliexxxRileyxxxEllie_**-**_

"Being honest Marlene, it was embarrassing telling Riley that I didn't hang with anyone else since she left. But I didn't feel that embarrassed, because it was Riley's fault for leaving. The day she left," I began, knowing I may well regret telling Marlene this secret, "the day she left, I went to her door to tell her I had feeling beyond friendship for her. I was about to admit it, when she called me a lapdog, told me I was a suck up, said fuck off and slammed the door."

Marlene looked shocked, sorrowful and sad. Almost pitying, but she didn't show it, knowing I wouldn't accept it. Then, without warning silent tears rolled down my cheeks and I ran to Marlene and hugged her.

"You don't have to continue if you don't want to," she said in a soothing, almost motherly voice.

"I'm going to finish this," I said with a steel edge to my voice.

"Ok," she said simply, releasing me so I could continue. I slumped against the wall, Marlene following suit, and I continued.

_**-**_RileyxxxElliexxxRiley_**-**_

My feet hit the outside roof with an almost inaudible thump, (years of par core helped with that) and I followed Riley, throwing my back against the wall to hide from the military. I took this silent moment to take in how beautiful Riley looked next to me; the rain bounced off of her silky skin, forcing it to take on a more reflective trait. Her hair was pulled back, giving her a more mature, grown-up look. She wore simple clothes; a light blue denim jacket with the sleeves rolled up and a white tank top-causing her natural beauty to stand out a lot more.

"Woa, man. Sorry, I'm a bit jumpy lately," she said interrupting my thoughts. I looked down to see the convoy had passed.

"Careful it's wet," she continued, and I saw she was off once more, walking across a precariously placed wood plank that connected this rooftop to the next.

"Hey so…" I started, not wanting to appear stupid, "maybe I should join the Fireflies."

"Ellie…" Riley began, and I immediately knew it was bad new, "that was the first thing I asked Marlene. She wants you safe at that stupid school. I'm not even supposed to come and see you."

"Why does she care?" I asked, feeling rage towards the woman for splitting us up.

"She's worried I'll get you into trouble," was the girl's only response.

_**-**_ElliexxxRileyxxxEllie_**-**_

"That reminds me to ask you… Why was I not allowed to join? I'm not good enough for your stupid cult, is that it? Also, what the hell Marlene? Trying to split us up! How dare you?" I yelled, close to tears again. Boy was I emotional today!

"I wanted to keep you safe!" she cried.

"Then why did you let Riley join!" I asked. Unfair, I know, but a valid question.

"I let her join because Riley was a deserter. It was safer for her here, with the Fireflies." She informed me.

"Oh…" Cheers Marlene I thought to myself, now I feel bad.

"Right," she said, as if a massive debate hadn't just taken place, "you told me a little about when Riley left you, when she came back and how you got to the mall. Now tell me what happened inside."

I sighed heavily. She asked me about what happened inside when we were in my room, but I had tried to stall her with how we got there. I couldn't stall any more.

"Ok… But, it's kinda personal so… Have patience, ok?" I whispered.

She smiled, "ok."


	5. Welcome to The Danger Zone

A/N= Wow. This is the longest FanFic I have posted on the internets. Is it any good at all? Someone please review! Anyhow, in the next few chapters we find out what happened in the mall! Get strapped in, this might get sappy!

Disclaimer= if I own Last of Us, or any characters, then everyone who is reading this gets £10000000000

She Was All I Had:

Chapter five:

"Hey," Riley said smiling, her eyes and voice distant, as though she was reminiscing. "Do you remember the first time I bought you here?"

I _did_ remember. It was the best time of my life then. But Riley had managed to smash that record a lot of times.

"What are we doing here Riley?" I asked, annoyed that I still didn't know.

"I have a surprise for you," she said mysteriously.

"What," I said, now curious as to what the surprise might be, "is it a dinosaur?" if it was, I would kiss her regardless as to what her reaction may be.

"Maybe," she said, still not giving a straight answer.

"I'll be your friend again if it's a dinosaur," friend and more I added in my head.

"You'll just have to wait and see," she responded with a laugh.

I looked to the right to see a poster advertising water guns, and I decided to tell Riley, "I got them back you know."

Riley turned and saw the poster too, "our water guns? Bullshit! Are you tellin' me Corporal DickHead gave them back to you?"

"Of course not," I said in my best '_Duh'_ voice, "I had to sneak into his office!"

"Riley… I had them in my hands!" I said morosely.

Riley laughed as she realised what I was saying, "but yo' ass got caught!"

"But my ass got caught," I admitted.

We kept jogging towards Riley's surprise in a comfortable silence until;

"I can't believe Winston's gone," came through the silence in a sad tone.

"You heard?" I said, surprised and confused.

"Yea, do you know how it happened?"

"I don't know…" I said. Honestly I didn't. I only found out he was gone from rumors.

"Let's see what he left us," Riley said, breaking the awkward silence.

"Really?" I said. The world may have gone to shit, but I still have morals, and raiding my dead friend's home didn't seem to go with them.

She didn't respond, just walked into Winston's small but comfortable dwelling that was positioned in the middle of the mall. I walked in too, and immediately felt awkward and out of place. With Winston not here, I felt strongly like an intruder.

I saw Riley going through the guys stuff at the front, and went to the back of the room. I saw some papers, and moved two of them to the side, finding an old photograph. "Wow!" I exclaimed upon seeing the man in the center of the shot, "is that Winston? Guy used to be handsome…" Not my type though. My type would be… maybe two years older, dark skin, long dark hair, brown eyes. I stopped then, realizing I was as good as describing the girl who was no more than three meters away.

"Bingo!" the voice from behind startled me, but I didn't show it. I turned around to see Riley holding a bottle of alcohol. "Want some?" she asked.

"Nah I'm good," I said. I want to be able to walk in a straight line if the clickers come running!

Riley however, didn't share my concerns. She simply shrugged and said, "More for me. Cheers Winston." She took a long swig, before capping the bottle and putting it back down. "Wow. That's strong," she commented.

"Come on," she said, leading me outside.

I followed without question, walking close behind her.

"What happened to Princess?" Riley asked.

"I assume after Winston died they took her. Poor horse. She must be terrified," I answered sadly. I really liked that horse, and I know Riley did too.

We walked through the ruined mall a little longer, before we came to the metal piece of scaffold I knew too well.

"Hey Ellie help me lift this!" my friend called. I was reluctant. Wouldn't it collapse? I decided to voice my concern as I helped her lift it.

"I hate crawling through this thing. I always feel like we're gonna get crushed!" I breathed, air running out from the weight in my arms.

"Its fine," the girl said, going red because of how heavy the scaffold was. I made a mental note-Riley looks nice when she blushes.

"I'll go first," she said, reminding me to stop staring at her. That would probably freak her out. At that moment, the tunnel collapsed, an almighty crash ringing out- probably alerting ever clicker within a 10 mile radius.

"You know what?" Riley said, "How about we find another way?"

"Yea," I replied, still slightly shocked "sounds good."

We both walked around, flashlights in hands searching for another way, and I found one after around five minutes.

"Hey Riley!" I called triumphantly, "over here."

Riley pushed the large wooden doors, but they didn't budge. I gestured to the open window above the doors.

"Y'know what? I'll get you up and over. See if you can unlock it from the other side."

She grabbed my shoulder, but before putting her foot into my interlocked hands so I could give her a boost, she looked me in the eyes, "good call," she said with sincerity. I boosted her to the window, where she crawled through and dropped to the other side.

"Well?" I called into the silence, "you see anything? Riley?" No reply came, but I heard the click of a lock. I walked towards the door, and pushed it. Sure enough, the door swung open without hassle. Then a stereotypical growl came from my left. I turned towards it and recoiled in horror as a sadistic looking clown lunged towards me, only to hear the growl turn into laughter. It was only then that I took in the rest of the figure; it was fucking Riley!

"You dick that's two times today!" I said in annoyance.

Riley however, seemed to find it extremely funny and span in a circle, taking in the nearly intact horror shop.

"How the hell did we never find this place?!" she said, clearly still relishing in the fact she had pulled one over on me. She shook her head, "come on Ellie, I've got the perfect mask for you."

I sighed heavily at the immaturity of my friend, though I couldn't help but smile a little, "Riley-" but she cut me off.

"Perfect!"


	6. Truth or Truth

A/N= what up! I'm having fun writing this-RileyxEllie all the way! Please someone review!

Disclaimer= No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

She Was All I Had:

Chapter six:

"So how did that feel?" Marlene asked gently.

"How did what feel?" I said, confused, "I explained up to the horror shop place. What are you confused about?"

"I meant at large. Being with her again; getting up to your usual mischief-how did it feel?"

"At the time it felt like the best thing ever. But now it just makes me miss her more."

"So you regret going?"

"No!" I shouted, giving her good reason to be suspicious.

"What happened there to make you happy you went?" she demanded.

"I'm getting there! So if you're done interrupting, I'll continue…"

_**-**_RileyxxxElliexxxRiley_**-**_

We eventually left the mask shop, both in masks, being promised I won't be getting boobs anytime soon and me proving I can roar to Riley. We came out onto a circular ledge overlooking two cars.

"Ah! I've got an idea!" Riley said, "See those cars down there?" I nodded. "Red one's yours, I'll be blue. We throw bricks. Whoever breaks all the windows to their car wins."

"Are you kidding me?" I teased, "I'm like, the brick master."

"Alright," she continued, "looser has too… answer a question. No sarcasm!"

"What is this, truth or truth?!" I teased, "Alright fool, you're on." And so the competition began. After tireless brick throwing that lasted around fifteen minutes, I won by one window and decided to make a scene of my victory.

"Brick…Fucking…Master!" I said, taking my mask off and throwing it to the ground in a dramatic manner!"

"My car had tougher windows," Riley whined.

"Yea, whatever looser! Alright question time!" I said excitedly.

"I'm scared…" Riley muttered sarcasticly. I ignored her.

"Um… Ok. Why did you leave without telling me?" the second the words left my mouth, the atmosphere between us took on a morose, sad feel. I didn't regret saying it however-I needed the answer.

"I was in a weird space. Look, I didn't tell anyone," she said, as though that made it ok.

"But…I wasn't just anyone…was I?" I said, hating that my voice sounded so desperate and weak.

"No it's just… You gotta see this thing and we're almost there. Come on."

_**-**_ElliexxxRileyxxxEllie_**-**_

"That hurt. It hurt a lot. Honestly it felt like someone was taking my heart and blowtorching it. The fact that she couldn't give me a straight answer… It's fine though."

"How is it fine?" Marlene said, looking at me as though I was nuts.

I answered her question with a shy grin, "She made up for it later, trust me."

"What? How?" she responded, even more curious then she was before.

"You'll find out soon…"


	7. No Pun Intended

A/N= so this is chapter seven. This is getting long! Big thanks to BlueSky509 for the review! Other people please review! I like reviews!

Disclaimer= No! I don't own it!

She Was All I Had:

Chapter seven:

"What are we doing here Riley? This place is creeping me out…" I said. I had been following her for some time now, and seemingly hadn't made any progress. Riley seemed to know where she was going however, so I didn't make too many complaints.

"So," Riley said, "you know how we thought they only powered certain areas of the city?"

I didn't have to ask who they were. "Yeah?" I said, not knowing where this conversation was going.

"Follow me…" she said enigmatically.

After following her for another five minutes, we came to a stop in front of a rectangular box that was protruding from the wall.

"Well it turns out," she said, in a voice that let me know she was continuing her speech from earlier, "the whole city has power. They just flip the circuit breakers. All you have to do is flip 'em back."

I walked over to the switch that she was gesturing to, and studied her face. I saw no tricks however, no lies. It was still too good to be true however, and I voiced my concern, "There's no way this is gonna work." One look at Riley's beautiful, encouraging smile however, and I flipped it anyway.

With a groan and a whir, the lights in the corridor flashed into life.

"Ha!" I began to laugh in awe, grinning like and an idiot.

"What did I tell ya'," Riley said, giving me a warm smile. I'm pretty sure my heart melted at that pointed. Sappy but true.

"Wait so… the whole mall is lit up?" I asked when I found my voice again

"Let's go find out!" came my best friends reply. Best friend! I reminded myself. Tell her she means more than that and she'll be freaked out. And I can't lose her; she's all I have…

I ran after my friend, and we came to a set of double doors which led to the main mall. She took the left, and I took the right. We were going together, cliché but cool.

"You ready to see this?" she questioned.

"Wait. I…" all my doubts were flooding my mind, memories of her screaming at me when I was going to tell her I loved her. That pain, although old, was still excruciating.

"I know what you're trying to do. And…" I tried, but Riley interrupted me, as though she could read my thoughts.

"I didn't mean it. All the stuff I said before I left, I didn't mean it."

"Riley," I was going to do it. I was going to admit it. Like I should of a million times since she returned. Go on Ellie, my heart screamed, tell her you love her!

But I couldn't do it, couldn't risk my friendship. "You're such a sap!" I finished.

"Bitch you started it!" she laughed.

"Oh man," I said when the laughing was over.

"Are you ready?" she asked.

"Totally," I replied, retaking my stance against the door. Perfectly in sync, we pushed the doors open.

"Are you kidding?" I breathed, taking in the breathtaking sight in front of me.

_**-**_RileyxxxElliexxxRiley_**-**_

"You didn't tell her?!" Marlene said, "What the hell Ellie, why!"

"I never told her," I said, and stopped Marlene from interrupting me by putting my index finger to her lips, "but that doesn't mean she didn't find out, or that I didn't give her my first," I thought for a second, before adding forcefully, "and last kiss."

Marlene considered me for a moment, before saying, "Ok. I'm curious. Continue."

And after Marlene wiped my tears away with her sleeve, a motherly thing to do, I did.

_**-**_ElliexxxRileyxxxEllie_**-**_

There, in front of me, stood a glowing golden carousel which very much looked like it would work.

"I told ya'" was Riley's simple response.

"Wait," I said, a sudden worry entering my mind, "Won't the soldiers spot the mall being all lit up?"

"Nah, the exterior lights don't work."

"How do you know?" I asked, curious. Had she been here before?

"This Firefly, Melanie, told me all about it." She replied.

Melanie? So I had been replaced already? Fuck you 'Melanie'.

"This looks fancy," Riley said suddenly, gesturing to the carousel, "wanna try it?" she asked. Psh, as if she needed to ask!

"Ok," I said, and walked over to one of the fake horses. I swung my left leg over it, getting a strange sense of 'Deja vu'. That's when I realised the event was reminding me of the first time Riley took me to ride Princess.

Shaking my head to clear my mind, I looked over at Riley. I saw her press something, and suddenly the ride started to move.

"Whoa!" I cried in surprise. This was really something else. In fact, I thought to myself, this was better than a dinosaur. Something was missing from my sense of fun though…

"Riley come here!" I exclaimed, before laughing again.

"Nah you got this go!" she replied. The horse bobbed up and down as we went around the center pillar, not unlike Princess. However, instead of making me miss her, I found it added more happiness to this amazing experience. It still wasn't right though.

"Come on get up here- sit next to me!" I called out to Riley as the carousel allowed me to see her again.

"Alright wait up!" she laughed in response.

I saw her climb over the railing and dash to the horse to my left, clambering onto it. However, happiness cannot last forever-no more than five seconds after she sat on the horse the ride began to slow.

"No! No! No! No! No! No!" Riley said in annoyance.

"Ah, man!" I said, disappointed.

"I just got on!" Riley whined, which wasn't something she did very often, "LIVE!" she yelled pulling on the horse. Nothing happened. I'm not too sure what she expected_ would _happen.

"Phooey." She muttered.

"Well I loved it, so there." I said to her.

"Oh yeah!" she said, obviously remembering something. She pulled a small book from her bag.

"What is that?" I asked her, genuinely ignorant on the subject.

"Et hem," she fake coughed dramatically, "What did the triangle say to the circle?"

I gasped, now knowing what it was but wanting conformation, "What is that!"

"You're so pointless!" she concluded the joke, completely ignoring my question.

"Fuck you! You found another pun book!"

"What did the cannibal get when she showed up to the party late?"

I turned my head away to think about it, before facing her again, "I dunno."

"A cold shoulder!" she finished. We both laughed.

"Here," she said handing me the book, "it's for you."

"Y'know, you might just be my favorite person again," I lied. She never stopped being my favorite person .Not ever. Even when she said all those horrible things, she never stopped.

_**-**_RileyxxxElliexxxRiley_**-**_

"You really did love her didn't you?" Marlene asked.

"No Marlene," I told her, "I was _in_ love with her. Still am. I always will be. Loving and being in love are two different things."

Marlene smiled, "I know Ellie. I know. So what happened next?"

I gave her the biggest smile I'd given anyone since Riley died, "Next Marlene was the Photo Booth."


	8. Awkward Situations

A/N= we're nearing the end and you guys know it! There's just the photo booth, water guns, dance kiss, bite and my take on the aftermath. So that's anything from 6-3 chapters.

Disclaimer= I don't claim to own any of the beauty of the last of us, or the super interesting fun to write characters.

She Was All I Had:

Chapter eight:

After reading some funny, and some awful puns from _'No Pun Intended,' _we walked over to what looked like a fully functioning photo booth.

"How does this work?" I asked, wondering if we could actually do this now that the power was on.

"You just follow the instructions… I think…" she said slowly, unsure.  
We sat down next to each other, and I pressed start. Three images flashed across the screen, the 'themes'. Love, friends or cool were my options. Wanting to see how she would react, I pressed 'love', and Riley simply took the opportunity to tease me, "You trying to woo me girl?" she said, a mischievous tone to her voice.

"You wish," I said, hoping she wouldn't notice the fact that I had just told and unadulterated lie. I pressed ok, and a countdown from three seconds came up, with the message 'get ready' plastered across the screen.

First we gave the standard pose, flashing the camera normal smiles. Stealing a quick glance at Riley, I saw her giving the camera a simple, yet stunning smile.

For the second photo, we decided on creepy stuff, like monsters or something. This time I didn't look at Riley, knowing I would run the photo by failing to suppress a laugh.

For the third, we did the 'oh look, a dinosaur'. This was definitely my favorite; she had her arms round my neck, face pressed near mine. It would be so easy to turn my head; her lips were right there-

For number four we made ugly faces. It wasn't hard for _me _to succeed in this, Riley outright failed in my opinion. Fuck I'm sappy.

Then Riley suggested, "Right be all sexy." yeah… fuck you Riley. Just because you are all the time, without trying, doesn't mean I can do that too!

Then, with a final flash of light, the photos were done.

I pressed done on the screen, and it came up with a question, "Share to Facebook?"

Bewildered, I turned to Riley, "What's a Facebook?"

"Maybe it prints our pictures in a book…" she said hesitantly.

Screw it, I thought, and pressed 'no'.

Then it came up with the option to print. I pressed yes, giddy and out of breath with excitement. "Oh my god I can't believe this is actually going to work!" I said.

'Printer out of order' the screen displayed.

"Hit retry," Riley commanded. I did as she asked, but five seconds later the screen displayed the same spirit crushing message.

"Oh come on… Fuck you!" I cried in exasperation, thumping the retry button again.

"Maybe if I hit it up here…" Riley muttered, thumping the screen in multiple places.

And with that, the booth went dark. "Oh," we said in unison.

"What just happened?" I asked the older girl.

"I think we broke it!" Riley laughed.

With that, I began to laugh as well, "I think we did too!"

We leaned back on the chair, and that's where it got awkward.

"So…" we both said. Unbeknownst to Riley, I was having the biggest battle of my life.

_**Kiss her!**_

_No! It'll freak her out, and then I'll lose her… Again!_

_**She won't freak out… she may well feel something for you too, she might be having the exact same argument with herself right now.**_

_No. I won't risk it!_

_**Kiss her! I mean look at those lips…**_

I snapped myself out of my thoughts before I gave in.

"You wanna keep exploring?" Riley asked.

"Hell yeah!" I said, eager to get out of kissing distance.

_**-**_ElliexxxRileyxxxEllie_**-**_

"Ha!" Marlene had been laughing ever since I mentioned that 'Facebook' thing, and I'd had enough of talking over her.

"What the fuck is so funny! You told me to tell you all this in detail with feelings and thoughts and all, you said I'd feel better, but it's just pissing me off and making me miss Riley more!" i screamed, clutching my knife harder.

"I was laughing at your interpretation of Facebook. Look, it will help, you just need to finish you're story. Carry on," she said softly.

"I'll skip the arcade game and us taking the piss out of that dumb ass intercom lady," I said, "I just skip to the argument."

_**-**_RileyxxxElliexxxRiley_**-**_

"You win," Riley concluded.

"Fuck yeah I win!" I said excitedly.

"Not bad for your first game," Riley commented, "So, how was it?"

"It was all right…" I said. Honestly it was awesome-Riley was so close when she described the game that I could feel her hot breath on my neck, sending tremors down my spine.

"You loved it!" she laughed.

"Yeah I kinda did," I confirmed, grinning at her.

"You hear that?" she asked, and-provided I strained my ears-I did. It was music, coming from down a side corridor.

"Hey," I said, sad at the realization of the time, and the fact that I had to leave, "Y'know what? We should head back."

"No we shouldn't you've got plenty of time!" came her reply.

"Riley," I began, shooting her my best 'don't make this hard for me' look, "I don't have any more strikes at this place. Tomorrow we'll just pick up where we left off." I reasoned.

"I can't," she said, her voice sounding oddly strained.

"Well…" I said, feeling like I was missing something important, "we'll just do it another day then."

She simply shook her head, looking sad, almost guilty.

"Ok then Firefly Girl when?" I said, getting worried now, desperate for an answer.

"They've asked me to leave," she stuttered.

"Leave what?" I questioned.

"Boston," she responded, "I'm supposed to join a group in another city."

"I argued with them to stay here!" she attempted to explain, "but you know how Marlene is, she wouldn't listen! So… they're picking me up tomorrow."

I was at a loss for words, so I simply replied, "Ok."

"That's it?" she replied.

"Well what do you want me to say?!" I shouted, angry.

"Well I don't know, how about some… friendly advice?"

"Ha," I laughed bitterly.

"I'm serious!" she said, looking upset.

"Why did you bring me here?" I asked.

"I wanted to see you," she stated, shrugging.

"No- why did you bring me _here,_" I asked, emphasizing the true question more this time.

"I don't know." She said. Real fucking helpful Riley! I thought to myself.

"I don't know," I repeated quietly in disbelief.

"You want my advice? Go. Come on let's just say our good-byes." I attempted to hide the fact that my heart was snapping in two by being cold and sarcastic.

She studied me for a moment before saying, "I'm gonna go check out this music."

"Riley… Riley!" I shouted, but she just ran through the door, and down the creepy corridor.

"Shit… Well, time to face the music." I laughed mirthlessly before taking off after her.


	9. Lies

A/N= the end is near! So we have the water guns, the dance and kiss, the bite and then my take on the after math, the end (because it will end in Marlene's time) and my decided epilogue. See you guys later and please let me know how you feel about this FanFic in the review section!

Disclaimer= go back and read the last disclaimer and find out yourself.

She Was All I Had:

Chapter nine:

"What the fuck are you lookin' at?!" I yelled at the mannequin, pushing it over and kicking it. It was immature, but I didn't give a shit. I was confused, frustrated, and angry and in love, and it all concerned the same person, "Riley!" I shouted again, still walking towards the stupid music.

When I eventually found her, she seemed very interested in our surroundings, "Have you ever seen anything like this?" she said, gazing around the music store.

"Are we just done talking?" I asked in exasperation.

"I don't know are we?" she shot back in a hostile tone.

"Hey!" I said, suddenly furious, "you don't get to be pissed off at me! I'm pissed off at you!"

"For what, asking you what you think?"

"When have you ever cared about what I think?" I asked, genuinely not being able to remember a single time she had. "We were good!" I continued sadly, "We were better than good, and then you told me to fuck off, and then you just up and vanish!" i hadn't meant for that to slip out, but it had needed to be said.

"This whole day…" I continued when she didn't react, "You feel guilty? You're looking for an out? I-I-I'm giving it to you." I stuttered. I seriously didn't want her to go-last time she did, I didn't get over it until she came back, and I was still sad about it then!

"I'm supposed to be holed up on the other side of town. I get caught as a Firefly I'm dead. Guilt didn't make me cross a city full of soldiers Ellie!" she said as though it was obvious. "And yeah, I did some shit that I don't know how to take back but… I'm trying."

"Oh," she took off her back pack and threw it to the floor, our water guns visible through the partially open zip, "those water guns you've been dreaming of? I nearly got shot for these. Surprise!" she said with enough sarcasm dripping from her tone for me to drown in it.

I took the water guns out of Riley's back pack and gave one to her, "Ok first, I'm gonna destroy you, and then we'll talk."

"You're about to get drenched!" she replied, her voice back to its playful, teasing self.

"Let's see what you've got Firefly girl!" I said. We chased and hunted each-other for around fifteen minutes, but I knew it couldn't last forever, that I had to go back to that stupid school.

"I got you again! Boosh!" she yelled, "You wanna go again? She asked.

"I do, I do I just," I sighed, not finishing.

"You gotta go back," Riley said sadly.

"Uh huh." I said nodding.

"Can I at least walk you home?" she asked nudging me.

"I guess!" I said smiling. Riley always made me smile, one of her many amazing qualities.

"Hey, so…" I began, "I said it like an asshole, but I totally meant it. You should go. I mean you've wanted this since- well you know, forever so," I sighed sadly, "who am I to stop you?"

"The only one who can," she sighed, as though she wanted me to tell her to stay. I wanted to share my opinion, so I pretended to be sarcastic.

"No please don't go I'll be so miserable without you!" at least she smiled at that.

"I'll be fine," Huge lie. I'd be depressed for months.

"And you'll be fine," I don't even know where she would be!

"And we'll see each other again."


	10. Tragedy

A/N= so this is the second to last chapter. I want to thank anyone who had the patience to read this far into the story- PLEASE review! Bye guys!

Disclaimer= No, I don't claim to own any of the Last of Us or Left Behind.

She Was All I Had:

Chapter ten:

"You still lug that Walkman around?" asked Riley, although she knew the answer.

"Of course!" I replied, using the best 'of course you idiot' voice I could muster.

"Give it here." She commanded. I shrugged before obliging, my hand brushing past my journal as I rummaged through my back pack. After a short while, I made a noise of success and gave Riley the Walkman.

"What's in it?" she asked, curious.

I hung my head and hoped I wasn't blushing, "That tape you gave me."

Riley grinned inanely, "You really will be miserable without me!"

I don't think she knew just how right she was.

I was her walk over to one of the radios, and plug something into the headphone jack of my Walkman. She pressed play, and "I got you babe" blared out of the speaker. I always thought of me and Riley when this song played; it seemed as though the song was made for us, on our relationship. I had her and she had me. It was the way it had always been, and (or so I thought) always would be.

"Come on up!" called Riley, and I realised that she had jumped up on the makeshift stage and was dancing around. I hopped onto the stage, and began moving around ridiculously, not knowing how to dance and envying Riley because she did. Ah, Riley. Riley, Riley, Riley. This was us, what we did. Messing around, listening to music, being… Normal. Being… carefree. Simply being… happy. And that's exactly when I realised; I wasn't just losing my best friend, or even the only person I loved in this piece of shit world. I was losing the last person I loved, and who loved me. And that was something I couldn't bear. I'd lost my mother, my father, my previous friends, one of the few nice soldiers, and most of my sanity in this world, and the one thing that grounded me- that kept my depressions and bad dreams and thoughts at bay, the last one that I love was being ripped away from me by the newest version of the fucking girl guides. And I was sitting by and letting it happen. My body froze at that thought. I was _letting _them take her from me!

"Hey," Riley whispered to me, her voice filled with concern, "what's wrong?"

It was selfish, and not something I had the right to ask, but I did it anyway;

"Don't go."

She studied my pleading expression with scrutiny; as though she was contemplating something, before she smiled at me warmly and ripped the pendant she had worked for all her life from her neck and threw it to the ground. I gazed into her eyes for a moment, emotions swimming around in my mind; admiration, wonder, confusion, love, lust, and a _need_ to have her in my life that was so strong it hurt. And this time, without concern for our friendship and without the worry of rejection, I kissed her.

_**-**_ElliexxxRileyxxxEllie_**-**_

_**Marlene's Point Of View:**_

Looking into Ellie's eyes when she talked me through this latest 'chapter' of her time with Riley at the mall was the most fascinating thing in the world. The unadulterated emotion in them, the sheer love for Riley turned her eyes a bright green that are so full of life- unlike when her mind returns to the present time, when her eyes are a dull dark green that look so…depressed and sad. Finding out what she had planned to do was hard, and seeing the anger and hurt in her face when I stopped her was harder. But I had to do it. Failing to intervene would have been failing Anna, and I couldn't do that, _wouldn't_ do that. Because I had loved her. Though I would never admit it to Ellie, I _had _loved her mother, and regret it so much that I never admitted it while she was alive. That's why it made me angry that Ellie hadn't told Riley, and why it filled me with joy that she had at least shown it.

"It was the most beautiful thing in the world," I heard her say, still deep in her memory; "she tasted of strawberries and cream, though I don't know how. Her lips were soft yet firm and I remember my thoughts as it ended so clearly. I was panicking, not knowing if she hated me or not. I regretted it, yet I really didn't. I said sorry, and she replied in a soft voice that was like a lullaby the way it put my worry to rest;

"For what?"

_**-**_RileyxxxElliexxxRiley_**-**_

I smiled such a big smile I could have sworn I felt my face split in two. I was so happy I felt like laughing and crying and dancing and singing all at once. I had just had my first kiss, and it was with the girl I had dreamed of kissing for almost a year.

"What do we do now?" I asked the girl I had just kissed, still gazing into her eyes in a really cliché overused way.

"We'll figure it out." She replied, not being very helpful but still putting me at ease.

But of course, at that moment, as though life itself just wanted to piss me off, Infected ran into the music store and screeched at us.

"Riley!" I breathed in panic, though when I looked at the older girl I saw she already had a plan. She looked calm, although the panic in her eye's showed it was a façade that was probably for my benefit. I knew I was no longer looking at carefree Riley, but Firefly girl, her training already taking effect. She pulled a 9mm from her side at shot the runner closest to us clean through the head before turning to me, "Run Ellie!"

We turned and sprinted to the nearest exit, sprinting through the door and slamming it behind us, "Barricade it!" she cried, and I wasted no time in following her order. I helped her push a heavy object (I hadn't stopped to look at what it was) in front of the door.

"Come on, this way!" Riley cried, grabbing me by the arm and pointing me in the right direction.

"What about our back packs!" I said, pissed off about leaving my journal, Walkman and water guns behind.

"Fuck the back packs!" she yelled back in exasperation.

We ran towards a door, but the Infected behind it kind of put that way out off limits. Riley slammed the door and pushed her body weight against it whilst twisting the lock. Once it was locked we ran over to the shutters and tried to lift them. I wasn't strong enough to lift them so that Riley could get through however, so I crawled through to find an object to hold them up. I used this thing that looked like a heavy duty trolley, and shoved it under the shutters. Riley ducked under and shot the lock off of the double doors that were the only other way out of that room. We ran through a corridor and another room where we encountered more Infected. One tackled me to the floor, but I kicked it off of me and buried my switchblade into its skull. I got up and turned around, only to see another infected run at Riley and push her against the wall, snarling and gnashing its teeth. My blood boiled and rage ran through my body as I ran at it and jumped on its back, burying my switchblade into it again and again whilst cursing until it collapsed to the floor and I landed on my feet, blood on my face clothes and hands.

"Wow," I heard Riley murmur, to which I replied with a nod.

"Come on," Riley ordered, "up the stairs. You know the scaffolding? That's our way out."

We sprinted up the stairs, Riley always two steps ahead of me. We reached a corridor, but it was blocked by infected, so we took a right.

Somehow, after a lot of running and gunshots, we reached a jump, we both made it. Riley clambered up the scaffold and made it. I jumped up it too, but it gave way, and before I knew it I was falling through the air, my back smashing on wood and metal as I fell back to the cold hard floor of the mall, winded. Life decided not to give me time to recover however, as an infected ran at me, desperately trying to bite me. I struggled against him, but he was a grown man twice my height and weight, and I was a female teenager with a switchblade I couldn't get to- take a guess at who was winning.

Before I could die however, Riley was there, and she put a bullet in his head, silencing his strangled screams. She held her hand out to me, and I went to take it before yet another infected ran and pushed her to the ground. I grabbed it, and shoved the switchblade into its neck, using my adrenalin to fuel my strength as I slit its neck open from ear to ear in a sickening red grin. I tossed it's carcass to one side and stood there, panting.

"I think it clear, I think we did it," I panted in relief.

"Ellie." She said with a lot more sadness in her voice then I would have liked to hear, "Ellie your arm."

I looked down at my right arm, a horrible sense of dread replacing the adrenalin that had been pumping through me. There was a bite mark on my arm. But I almost didn't see it, because all I saw was a disgusting death sentence. I looked at my arm, and every hope I'd had for my life, my life with Riley disappeared.

"No." I whispered in horror, "No, no, no!"

Riley merely smiled sadly and held up her own hand to show that she had been bitten too. Fury rushed through me as I realised that any dreams I had of our relationship growing was scattered. We would both be dead within forty eight hours.

_**-**_ElliexxxRileyxxxEllie_**-**_

"Or so I thought." I muttered bitterly, "Being completely honest with you Marlene, I wish I had just died with Riley, instead of being cursed with life without her. It's depressing and sounds stupid and attention seeking, but it's true."

Marlene merely shook her head, looking at me with pity. I didn't like it.

"I don't want your pity Marlene, I want my girlfriend back!" I said, sounding weaker then I was aiming for.

"You need to understand Ellie; nothing you can do is going to bring her back. If you could raise the dead, your Mother would still be here."

"But I can still see her again! I don't to raise the dead, I can just join them!"

"Do you realize how selfish you are being? You are the _cure_ Ellie! If you kill yourself, you damn us all. You want that on your conscience?"

"I already have Riley's blood on my hands; it wouldn't make much of a difference." I sighed, wiping my eyes in a vain attempt to stop the tears.

"Ellie," she stopped whatever she was about to say and replaced it with, "just finish what happened."

So I did.

_**-**_RileyxxxElliexxxRiley_**-**_

"Fuck!" I cried out in pain and the wall hit my fist harder than my fist hit the wall.

"I told you to cut it out! Are you ok?" Riley asked.

"No I'm fucking not ok! I'm infected and now I think I have broken my hand!"

"Let me look at it!" she sighed. She took my hand gently in her own, and I had the strong urge to kiss her, but decided not to as my hand hurt. It hurt a lot. She sighed, "You have broken it. I knew you had a temper but Jesus. Look, I'm going to go and get our stuff-I need the medical stuff in my pack to treat your arm. I won't be long." She kissed my hand tentatively, before kissing my lips and leaving the main hall.

_**Riley's Point Of View:**_

I left the main section of the hall and walked across to the corridors which lead to the music store. I could think of nothing more than the kiss we had shared in the music store. I had ruled out the fact that it was a platonic or friendly gesture, which leads me to the conclusion that she feels the same way about me that I feel about her. However, I wasn't going to be the first one to say the 'l word'. The things I said before I left were simply because I couldn't deal with how I really felt about her. I started dreaming about her for god sake and that just made me feel like a creep. I gave her the mix tape of love songs in the hope that she would get the message, but she didn't. Well, she might of, but she didn't show it. So I decided to run away and join the Fireflies, in the hope that it would get Ellie out of my head; which it didn't. In any case, I came back and hoped I could make her tell me to say. What I had told her was true;

"_This is something you have wanted since forever, so who am I to stop you?" she had said._

"_The only one who can."_

When she had had asked me to stay, I was happy. When she had kissed me, I was even fucking happier.

I finally reached the music store, and saw there were no infected in the area. First, I took my bag and swung it over my back, before grabbing Ellie's Walkman and opening her pack to put it inside. But then I saw a book. Always being the nosy one, I opened it to see Ellie's neat handwriting. On the top right of every page was a date followed by Dear Riley below it to the left. They started on the day I left for the Fireflies. I knew I was being nosey and rude, but I decided to read it anyway.

Dear Riley,

I'll never understand you. One day you'll be giving me mix tapes full of love songs, and the next you insult me and tell me to fuck off. And you know what the worst part is, I came to your dorm to tell you I loved you, and instead of it being a mutual feeling you insulted me. Thanks a lot. I fucking love you too!

Ellie

Dear Riley,

Where are you? I don't know why I asked, I will never let you read this, but you are not in your dorm and you aren't anywhere else either. You were a dick, but I still love you, and I need to know you are safe!

Ellie

Now I felt like a dick. I was crying, but without shame. She was trying to tell me something, but I didn't know it was a confession of love! Oh Jesus Christ Ellie I'm so sorry, I thought. I stood up and walked back to the main area.

_**Ellie's Point Of View:**_

I looked towards Riley as she walked back in. Her eyes were red from crying, but I didn't question it. She was looking at me funny though. She looked… guilty? But I couldn't ask because she had put my bag in front of me and taken her med kit out of her own. She took my hand and asked me, "You ready?"

"Yup."


	11. The End

A/N= final chapter this time friends I promise! Thanks to all you beautiful people who followed/favorited this FanFic! Please review_**! This chapter focusses on the 21 hours and 7 minutes mentioned in the first chapter, as well as the epilogue/conclusion type thing**_. See ya!

Disclaimer= I do not claim to own anything I mention other than the suicide plot.

She Was All I Had:

Chapter eleven:

_**Two hours later:**_

We were still in the same position that we were in after she had patched up my hand. Riley seemed to be asleep, so I took the opportunity to reflect on what was currently happening. I met up with Riley, made up with her, and then made out with her, and it was awesome. I had been bitten, she had been bitten, and it sucked. But it was worth it for this moment. Riley had fallen asleep whilst holding me. It felt…Right-as though it was meant to be. _And I called Riley a sap! _I thought to myself.

"Ellie," Riley murmured.

"Yeah?" I responded, wondering why she had woken up.

"Ellie…" that's when I realised that she _hadn't _woken up, she was dreaming… of me?!

"Ellie I didn't mean it. No! I'm sorry…" she sobbed, "No Ellie-I love you, I'm sorry…" she muttered again. What! She _loved _me? Like I loved her? I looked at her face again, just in time to see her eyes flutter open. Her unfocused, sleepy eyes came to rest on mine.

"Ellie?" she said, clearly still half inside of her dream.

"Hey lover girl," I teased. See gave me a questioning look, so I added, "you talk in your sleep."

"Oh. Shit. You hear much?" she asked, to which I responded with a nod and a smile, "that happened once before, at the Fireflies. My roommate Melanie told me after I dreamed about us-" she cut herself off before she finished the sentence. She actually blushed! "she just told me."

"Oh come on Riley. What happened!" I asked eagerly-Riley _never_ blushes!

"No. You're too young." She said grinning.

"Hey, fuck you! I'm only two years younger than you are!" I exclaimed angrily. But Riley of course only grinned wider. "Come on; let's go back to the carousel."

And so we started to walk back towards it, and it was a whole ten minutes later-once we had reached it-that I realised, "Hey! You didn't even tell me what the dream was about!"

"Damn it Ellie I'm not telling you!" she cried in exasperation.

"Fine!" I pouted, "I'll figure it out myself. So… it was embarrassing, your roommate didn't appreciate it much… Did you like me then? As in, like me more than friends?" she nodded. "So it was embarrassing, about us, you liked me… give me a clue, where did it take place?" Riley simply blushed and looked away.

"Come on! It's not like you dreamed of us making out or anything!"

"How would you know!" she shot back, but then put her hands over her mouth.

"Holy shit, you did, didn't you! Ha!" but then I saw hurt flash across her face- she had taken my laughter the wrong way. "Oh Riley, come on. For one, I've dreamed about that as well. And for two; well, if you hadn't dreamed of that at one point, I'd be insulted. Oh and three; who hasn't dreamed of making out with me, I mean come on now!"

"Whatever bitch!" she laughed.

"Now are we gonna ride this thing or what?"

"Alright, alright I'm coming!" she smiled.

_**-**_ElliexxxRileyxxxEllie_**-**_

"I loved how she blushed. It was sweet, almost endearing." I told Marlene, who seemed pretty interested, "Did my mum look nice when she blushed?"

"Yes," she said, smiling as she reminisced, "But her smile was better. It was so simple yet so… stunning."

"Bet it wasn't as nice as Riley's…" I whispered sadly. How was I supposed to cope without her? Suicide was the only solution to the problem. The more I brooded upon it, the more certain I became.

She wrapped her arm around me, an attempt at comforting, and whispered, "Carry on."

_**-**_RileyxxxElliexxxRiley_**-**_

_**Eight hours later:**_

We explored the mall for a long time after the carousel. We had come to rest in a bed shop which was barely touched, (Guess not many people thought to loot an entire bed) because Riley fever had set in. We layed together in one of the double beds for a while listening to my Walkman, but Riley's condition was rapidly declining, and Riley-always being the logical one-decided we had to face that fact.

"Ellie… I'll be an infected by morning. We both know that. I'm going to chain myself to that bed over there, and sleep. You sleep too. When you wake up, shoot me." the way she spoke about it as though it was just standard procedure made me angry.

"What if I change first?"

"Ellie, you haven't changed at all in ten hours. You aren't infected. Don't know how, don't know why, but that's how it is. Now please Ellie; I love you, and I know that you love me too." With that she handed me her gun. "Please, don't let me hurt you."

I nodded solemnly.

_**Eleven hours later:**_

Since I joined the military school, I could remember only one happy thing; Riley. I had no parents, no friends, and no one to love. So I had one thing that fit all those criteria's-Riley. Who was more mature than me, and gave me guidance like a parent? Riley. Who was there when no-one else was, to share the good times and the bad, who was a true friend? Riley. Who was beautiful, my light in the dark, my beacon of hope-my one love in this world of sick, twisted people? Riley. Yet I stood with a gun pointed at her head, knowing that this is the only way because this isn't a love story- it's a tragedy. A relationship that is faced with odds that cannot-will not-be beaten. Simply because the world has gone to shit, we had to suffer-except Riley didn't. If I pulled the trigger of her gun, she could go beyond. At the pull of a trigger, she could be free again… she could be happy.

_**Seven minutes later:**_

I pulled it.

_**-**_ElliexxxRileyxxxEllie_**-**_

The tears were streaming down my face as my story concluded. Marlene was studying me as though making a decision.

"Come with me," she said after a while.

I followed her to a pitch black room, and without warning, she pushed Riley's gun (which I hadn't even realised she had taken) into my hands and shut the door behind us. She flicked on the lights, and in the corner of the room I saw a man in his late thirties-evidently in the last stage of infection-chained to the wall.

"Here's the thing Ellie. You are the cure. You could help make a vaccine should you choose to help the Fireflies. You know that's what she would have wanted. But I know it hurts, and I know that you want the easy way out. So it's up to you. What you want or what she wants. Either you pass the initiation by shooting him, or do what you've wanted for the past few hours, and shoot yourself."

I was shocked to say the least. What should I pick? Pick my happiness or hers? But in this scenario, who has "she"? Would I be pleasing Riley, or Marlene? Deep down however, I knew that Riley would want me to help everyone by making a vaccine. Riley was all I had, my only love, and if it pleased her, I would do anything. And right now, I could please everyone, including Riley, by pulling a trigger.

So I pulled it.

_**The end.**_


End file.
